8 Ways To Say I Love You
1. Spit it into her voicemail, a little slurred and sounding like the shot whiskey you downed for courage. Feel as ashamed as you do walking into work in last night’s clothes. Wake up cringing for days, waiting for her to mention it.
2. Sigh it into her mouth, wedged in between teeth and tongues. Don’t even let your lips move when you say it, ever so lightly, into the air. Maybe it was just an exhalation of ecstasy.
3. Buy her flowers. Buy her chocolate. Buy her a teddy bear, because that’s what every romantic comedy has taught you. Take her out to a nice restaurant where neither of you feel comfortable and spend the whole night clearing your throat and tugging at your tie. Feel like your actions are more suited to a proposal than the simple confession of something you’ve always known.
4. Whisper it into her hair in the middle of the night, after you’ve counted the space between her breaths and are certain she’s asleep. Shut your eyes quickly when she shifts toward you in askance. Maybe you were just sleep whispering.
5. Blurt it out in the middle of an impromptu dance party in the kitchen, as clumsy as your two left feet. When time seems to freeze, hastily tack on “in that shirt” or “when you make your award-winning meatballs” or, if you are feeling particularly brave, “when we do this.” Resume dancing and pretend you don’t feel her eyes on you the rest of the night.
6. Write her a letter in which the amount of circumnavigating and angst could rival Mr. Darcy’s. Debate where to leave it all day – on her pillow? In her coat pocket? Throw it away in frustration, conveniently leaving it face up in the trashcan, her name scrawled on the front in your sloppy handwriting. Let her wonder if you meant it.
7. Wait until something terrible has happened and you can’t not tell her anymore. Wait until she almost gets hit by a car crossing Wabash against the light and after you are done cursing at the shit-for-brains cab drivers in this city, realize you are actually just terrified of living without her. Tell her with your hands shaking.
8. Say it deliberately, your tongue a springboard for every syllable. Over coffee, brushing your teeth side-by-side, as you turn off the light to go to sleep – it doesn’t matter where. Do not adorn it with extra words like “I think” or “I might.” Do not sigh heavily as if admitting it were a burden instead of the most joyous thing you’ve ever done. Look her in the eyes and pray, heart thumping wildly, that she will turn to you and say, “I love you too.”"
- 1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
- 2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?
- 3: What if I told you that you were pretty?
- 4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?
- 5: Are you interested in anyone right now?
- 6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?
- 7: Do you want to be single?
- 8: Did you go out or stay in last night?
- 9: How late did you stay up last night?
- 10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?
- 11: Last three things you had to drink?
- 12: Have you pretended to like someone?
- 13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?
- 14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?
- 15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?
- 16: Think back five months ago, were you single?
- 17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?
- 18: Hold hands with anyone this week?
- 19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
- 20: What would you name your future daughter?
- 21: Do you miss anyone?
- 22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?
- 23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?
- 24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?
- 25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?
- 26: Who did you last see in person?
- 27: Are you listening to music right now?
- 28: What is something you currently want right now?
- 29: What is the last thing you said out lot?
- 30: How is your heart lately?
- 31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
- 32: Are you wearing socks?
- 33: What do people call you?
- 34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
- 35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?
- 36: Who did you last share a bed with?
- 37: Did you do something bad today?
- 38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
- 39: Do you get stressed out easily?
- 40: Will you sing today?
- 41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?
- 42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?
- 43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?
- 44: What are you listening to right now?
- 45: What is wrong with you right now?
- 46: What is on your wrists right now?
- 47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wea
- 48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?
- 49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?
- 50: Are you a good artist?
- 51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?
- 52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?
- 53: Ever been on a golf cart?
- 54: Do you have trust issues?
- 55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?
- 56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?
- 57: Do you use chap stick?
- 58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?
- 59: Do you have a little sister?
- 60: Have you ever been to New York?
- 61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
- 62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?
- 63: What were you doing at midnight last night?
- 64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
- 65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
- 66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?
- 67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?
- 68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
- 69: Will next Friday be a good one?